


Developing Equilibrium

by samidha



Series: Photographs 'verse [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-21
Updated: 2010-12-21
Packaged: 2018-12-01 15:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11488986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/samidha
Summary: A 6.11 coda in 3 parts. This is part #3.





	Developing Equilibrium

The days were running together, just dreams of everything he wanted to forget and long talks on what he needed Sam to remember. They were coming up on two weeks at Bobby’s, and he couldn’t think of a time when they had taken so long away from the hunt. They probably hadn’t since the long stretches of time in motel rooms waiting for their father. He kept cooking and kept his monologues about the past for mealtimes only: one part comfort, one part utter misery. 

He waited as he talked, waited for the brother he knew to emerge, asking questions and making connections, calm and collected like he was sifting through a pile of lore. Hell, he would take Sam at his worst, as long as he had something to _say_. But still, for the most part, Sam kept quiet and he found himself filling the space between them with anything and everything on his own. 

They were sitting across from each other with two heaped plates of Sloppy Joes when he dove in again, looking for something to fill Sam’s silence.

He still didn’t have much to say that was any good. But his mind finally lit on something that might draw Sam out of the silence that was slowly driving him insane. Grasping at straws, he went for Sam’s gut.

 _I thought it was going to be you. For the first thirty, I guess, I did. But instead... well, I got down. I lost track of you after that. And then he came._ He pulled his jacket off and worked his way out of one sleeve of his t-shirt, showing Sam the hand-print.

Sam stiffened a little bit in his seat, eyes dry and flashing, and he knew he had him. He could see the words forming, the gears finally turning in Sam’s head. _The angel of Thursday. I remember._ , Sam said, quiet in a way that didn’t suit him, but it was something. He paused and then: _He still around?_

_Yeah. When he can be. When he... yeah._

_It should have been me_ , Sam said. 

A chill worked its way down his spine. _No_ , he said firmly. _You were.... It was bad enough when I got to you. It was...bad enough._

 _Blood_ , Sam said simply.

He nodded. _Yeah._

_But I had it in me the whole time._

He grimaced, shook his head minutely. _Well, in the end you saved the world, Sammy._

Sam got up, paced the length of the kitchen, and turned back toward him. _I can’t really take much more of this, Dean_ , he said. _What do you think about getting back on the road?_

_And we’d go...where?_

_I, um. There’s something I left in Blue Earth._

He studied Sam’s face, looking for any clue, but all he could find was silent determination.

So they were going.

*~*~*

The ride east was mostly quiet. Dean cycled through three of his tapes, tapping out a soft beat on the steering wheel. 

He held his breath, full of anticipation and hope and a little fear. This was a first in what he realized was going to be a long string of them now that he could feel again. Dean had decided to go where he wanted and now they were in the car, really moving, finally with purpose.

 _So what’s so important, Sam?_ Dean asked, and he bit his lip.

 _You’ll see. It’s in the PO box._ he offered, dodging just to the left of an answer. He wasn’t ready, not until he had the box key in his hand, not until he had his prize and they were back in the safety of the car.

When they finally pulled up to the post office, he waved Dean away experimentally but his brother shook his head. _No way do you go in there by yourself_ , Dean said with his eyes, flashing dark and dangerous in the light. He shrugged, as if he had expected as much and matched Dean’s stride, body language saying _Hey, okay. I get it. Right here._

The key fit smoothly in the lock after nearly a year and a half without use and finally he could breathe.

He pulled the trinket out and balled up his fist protectively around it, not wanting to show Dean until they were back on their own, together.

 _What’s the deal, Houdini?_ Dean asked, but he just smiled shyly and gestured back toward the door and what lay outside.

His heart hammered in his throat until they were back in the open air and getting into the car.

Once inside, he opened his hand, revealing the amulet curled up in his palm.

 _I know you left it in the trash. I, uh, I remembered I picked it up, just in case you would ever change your mind and I, uh... I know it’s from before, I know it’s from a hell of a long time ago._ He swallowed hard and gestured with the hand holding the necklace. _I just..._

_What, Sammy?_

_Well, you stayed with me. You didn’t give up, and you could have, and you stayed, even when I was totally gone, when I couldn’t even... I hardly remembered who you were. You stayed._

*~*~*

He didn’t say the obvious thing, that leaving Sam behind anywhere would have been letting him loose, a thing that thought nothing of axe-wielding and murdering. He tried not to even call those images to mind but it was pretty much hopeless. So he worked to school his tongue as the memories flew by.

 _Yeah, well, I had to be the compass, Sammy_ , was all he said.

Sam nodded grimly. _So, look, I know it’s been forever since you’ve wanted this, I know it’s been... just..._ he gestured hopelessly, taking in Dean, the car, everything, _since we’ve really felt like bro--_

He felt his stomach flip and shook his head. _Hey, hey. Don’t even say it._

Sam nodded. _I just.... I’ve missed seeing it. So if you want--_

He covered Sam’s hand with his own and pulled the amulet free. _We’re brothers. No matter what happens_ , he said, and he settled the amulet back on his neck. _Okay?_ he asked.

Sam let out a long breath and smiled shyly back at him. _Yeah. Okay._

 _Where to now?_ , he asked, turned on the car and raised the volume on the stereo, and let Metallica float over them as he turned right out of the post office lot.

_Couldn’t be much more from the heart. Forever trusting who we are. And nothing else matters._

_North_ , Sam said. 

He grinned, pictured the needle of a compass spinning as he revved the engine once. _You got it, kiddo._


End file.
